I told you that I was going to post here in the next 2 days, so I am holding up my end of the deal. You must know that I had planned to begin a series based on “What Worship Is” and “What Worship Is Not.” However, God often gets in the way of what I think would be a killer idea.
I woke up this morning in a great mood because I slept well and actually got 6 hours of sleep. I know you are not me, but most nights I sleep like 4-5 hours, so 6 is stellar. Anyway, my mood abruptly changed when our pa management system freaked out, and stopped working (To check out my review of the DBX DriveRack PA, click here). For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about, this means that there was no sound coming out of the speakers at all. Sure there was a simple fix, bypass the driverack, but it would sound horrible. Long story short, I reset it and didn’t loose my settings. By this time sound check was supposed to be over, and everyone cleared off stage. My mind was not focused on things of God, and the service that was about to begin. I desperately wanted time to go and hide from people to get refocused and clear my mind. That didn’t happen. After the service, I felt like I had failed. I had forgotten words, notes, transitions, and the list could go on. I had put so much effort into being super organized and prepared, yet I still felt like I had failed. After multiple meetings and practices, and hours of prep work, one glitch of a computer shattered my focus. Can one glitch of a computer really ruin a whole Sunday service?
My answer is that it can and it does, but it almost always becomes a beautiful representation of Christ’s love for us. Spending time on something, when you don’t have time to spend, is always a bad situation. It’s like that time when your chick sends you out to get something, and your buddy calls you while you’re on your way out. He says, “Dude, just come over for like two minutes, and play a little Guitar Hero.” Your immediate reply is “Yes.” Suddenly, 4 hours later, you still haven’t picked up that midol or chocolate ice cream she asked for. In this particular situation, you are totally screwed. That’s how I felt.
So after feeling like a total failure, but hearing people’s encouraging responses, I began to realize that in fact, I had witnessed God’s grace and discipline in my life. How could these people really worship to this highly imperfect music that was submitted before them? He took what I thought was a complete disaster, and restored His beauty and glory into worship. He reminded me that no matter how much preparation, organization, and hard work I put into something, if He is not my innermost desire, I must repent, because God makes our imperfections perfect. I must come before Him filthy and unworthy, and ask for forgiveness and continued brokenness. If I am not careful, worship becomes an act of selfishness, and not an act of complete reliance upon Jesus. Once again, He had led me back to Him. Reminded me that I am nothing. God is gracious and loving, but He is also a God of wrath and righteousness. I pray that I do not loose sight of how big and powerful my God is.